


real or not real

by bixgchan



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Temporary Amnesia, sad yuuri
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 13:19:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8534725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bixgchan/pseuds/bixgchan
Summary: Victor is diagnosed with Retrogade Amnesia, and he remembers portions of his life, only forgetting a specific number of things. One of which is Yuuri.





	

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for my limited knowledge of amnesia, i did the research that i can, but i'm taking a lot of liberties ok. ALSO, a lot of APOLOGIES to people on my twitter, yall know why. Forgive me?

Yuuri sees it with his own eyes, saw it happen right before him, probably just a couple of feet away, heard the shrill skidding of blades shaving through fine and hardened ice, specs of it flying every which way, hears the deafening  _ thud _ of a body falling on the ground that seems to reverberate inside his own head - playing in an infinite loop. 

 

One moment, Victor was gliding to the rhythm of the song that was still playing in the background - the theme was  _ revival _ \- all bright pearly white smiles and undeniable acquired grace, Yuuri standing just outside the rink, eyes glued to his coach’s every move with the ever present awe reflected in his gaze. Next thing he knows, Victor is falling, had  _ fell _ and there’s a red stain on the once impeccable white of the ice. 

 

Yuuri chokes on a sob, scrambling up to his feet to call for help,  _ someone.  _

 

The song continues to play through the speakers. 

 

*

 

It’s late into the night, well into the biting chill of midnight when Yuuri jerks awake, startled by the movement on the hospital bed. He doesn’t have time to register the pain in his lower back, or how his neck shoots jolts of pain to his head every time he turns a certain angle. Wild honey-chocolate eyes search dusted-cerulean, and sighs in relief. 

 

“I’m so glad you’re awake,” He whispers into the controlled silence, only the ticking of the clock and the beeping of the heart monitor occasionally breaking up the quiet. Victor blinks, once, twice, and Yuuri holds his breath.

 

A minute stretches into three. 

 

“A commemorative picture?” Victor suddenly says, voice rough, the kind of coarseness you get from a dry mouth. “Don’t be shy, though I believe our circumstance seems a bit peculiar.” He adds, referring to the hospital gown he was wearing and the room they were in, grinning politely.

 

Yuuri blinks, once, twice, Victor holds his breath. 

 

_ Ah _ , Yuuri thinks, rapidly blinking back the itch of a persistent onslaught of tears. “Yeah, sure.” He replies, and Victor gives him a blinding smile. 

 

*

 

Victor was diagnosed with  _ Retrogade Amnesia _ , a condition that had something to do with brain damage due to Victor’s cerebrovascular accident, something like that. Yuuri’s mind was and is in a haze the whole time the polite doctor had consulted them, and he had resigned himself to let Minako-sensei and his mother deal with all the specifics and also contacting Yakov.

The Russian coach wasn’t pleased, but he wasn’t surprised by it either. He had advised that it be kept confidential information, specially from the media, and had taken to confiscating Victor’s phone until further notice. Yuuri was afraid they would make Victor fly back to Russia, and was a bit guilty at the selfishness of it when he was actually comforted by the fact that Victor would be staying in Hasetsu. 

 

Yuuri remembers their little encounter in the hospital room, breathes in a shaky breath, and tries to fight back tears. He slumps against the cold chair right outside Victor’s room, wonders why hospital chairs are chilled to such a degree because it proves to be of little comfort. He thumps his head against the wall, closes his eyes, and prays to whoever is listening that this was just a bad dream. 

 

The door from Victor’s room opens. 

 

The chair beside Yuuri creaks. 

 

“He’s going to be okay, you know.” Minako says, and Yuuri opens his eyes to  look at his teacher, his mentor, his  _ friend _ . “Yeah.” He replies, and smiles when Minako squeezes his hand. 

 

“The doctor advised that it would be better if he was exposed to mementos of his lost memories, says that it would be easier to bring them back.” Minako informs, and Yuuri nods along, listening intently. “You’ll be fine, right?” She asks, genuine concern lacing her words, and Yuuri’s heart clutches at that. 

 

He nods. 

 

*

 

Victor comes home the day after with a bandaged head and a bruised elbow. He marches into the onsen buck naked, and he demands that he was fed with a dozen pork cutlet bowls. He remembers the taste, remembers how to interact with the kind old men in the baths, remembers the corner in the living room wherein Makkachin likes to slumber, and remembers the way to and from his room. 

 

He remembers Minako, remembers the other Katsuki family members aside from Yuuri. 

 

And that was probably the most painful of it all, but in fact, it wasn’t. 

 

What’s painful is the way Victor is completely…  _ himself. _ He smiles and he laughs and he’s incredibly blunt. He likes watching football with Yuuri’s old man, and he likes padding into the main eating area in his oversized robes and sleepy eyes. Yuuri aches, and the only consolation he has for himself is that this is all  _ temporary _ . 

 

He spends most of his time in the skating rink, trying to empty his head with thoughts of calloused hands between his own, of soft cherry lips sucking bruises into his skin, of blown blue eyes gazing at him from under thick silver lashes. Tries not to think of the cold space in his bed, or the sweater he has buried deep in his closet that Victor gave him as a congratulatory gift after the Onsen on Ice event. 

 

He loses himself into the cold, tries to work himself into exhaustion until he’s numb. 

 

“You know overexertion wouldn’t be good for your body, right?”  An all too familiar voice says from outside the rink, and Yuuri all but crash-lands himself into the hard ice. “V-Victor?” He squeaks, and the older man raises an amused brow at him. 

 

“Yuuri, right?” He asks, and Yuuri nods reluctantly. “Minako told me you’d be here. I wanted to talk to you!” He says, cheerful and light, and Yuuri allows himself to smile at that. He skates towards the exit, and is surprised when Victor meets him at the edge to give him a hug. 

 

Yuuri feels his face heat up, awkwardly wrapping his arms around Victor. “Victor?” He asks, curious, and the man in question huffs against his ear. “Sorry, I don’t know what got to me. It felt like something I usually did, so.” Victor explains, releasing Yuuri from his hold. 

 

Yuuri’s heart skips a beat. “Yeah. D-Do you remember?” He asks, hopeful, and Victor smiles before nodding. 

 

“T-that’s good!” Yuuri exclaims, loudly, and even  _ he  _ himself winces at that. Victor just chuckles at him. “Katsuki-san and everyone else in the onsen had explained the situation to me, and it seems that I’m forgetting some…  _ things? _ ” Victor explains, and Yuuri struggles with untying the shoelaces of his skates. 

 

He hums, waits for Victor to continue. 

 

“And they said I was your coach, and that was why I’m in Japan. Real or not real?” He questions, and something in his tone implies that he’s trying to be casual about this, but the look in his eyes says anything but. Yuuri worries his lip between his teeth, looks at all too familiar cerulean eyes, and takes a moment to himself to compose his guard. 

 

“Real.” He replies, and Victor hums. “Do you trust me?” Yuuri asks, voice just above a whisper, and Victor cocks his head at him. 

 

“They also said that if there’s anyone in this place I could trust it would be you,” He states, and Yuuri feels his cheeks heat up in a way that only Victor could ever do. “Real or not real?” 

 

“Real.” Yuuri replies. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> lol dont hate me please *hides*
> 
> also yes this was inspired by katniss and peeta in hunger games: mocking jay part 2 :>


End file.
